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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Ain't Sayin She's A Gold Digger

In what may just be the most fantastic Sports News story involving the Mets since Bill Buckner, a fan a Citi Field had to be rescued from the lady's bathroom yesterday after she got her arm stuck in the toilet.

The unidentified woman's arm became lodged in the toilet's drain when she attempted to stop one of her gold teeth from being flushed. This is just disgusting and hilarious all at the same time. This moron literally tried to dig her tooth from a public toilet. Gross! I wouldn't put my hand in my own toilet if the cure for colon cancer was swirling towards the sewers to be lost forever, let alone reach into a public one for molar that wouldn't even be worth its weight in gold to the Tooth Fairy.

What was she going to do if she got it? Put it back in her mouth? Her dentist would certainly tell her she needed to floss more during her next visit...ok, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I wonder if her dental insurance covers stupidity.

Anyway, this genius was sitting there on the bathroom floor with her hand stuck in the commode screaming for help, and because it has an automatic trigger, it kept flushing. I imagine it looked sort of like the toilet, in an attempt to find out where the rest of the gold was hidden, was subjecting her arm to Chinese_Water_Torture. Security came to help her but could not break her free from the drain. So, they called in a plumber who I'm guessing used a giant plunger and industrial strength Drano to dislodge her...or not. All I wanna know is where is the Youtube video of this?

I wonder if this lady is going to try to sue the Mets organization. She might be able to hire one of the idiot ACLU lawyers that are leveraging those waterboarding cases.


  1. That picture reminds me of my childhood when I lived in a playhouse where my legal guardians were Chairry, Clockey, and Conky. Conky would give me a secret word each week so that when it was repeated, we would all have to scream in delight. Oh wait, that was Pee Wee.


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