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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Hey...Who Ordered the Vanilla Shake?

I try not to think about it too much when I go to restaurants, but somewhere in the back of my head there is an imagination reel streaming a video where the cooks screw with my food. I don't know if it started with the movie Waiting, but it certainly didn't help.

Speaking of screwing and food, I read an article yesterday on NBC news that a 7-year-old girl in Switzerland found a CONDOM in her McDonald's fries essentially turning her Happy Meal into a Happy-Ending Meal. Yuck! A Happy Meal with a free condom. That's like a pedophile's starter kit...van not included. Talk about gross.

When they find the disgrace that thought it would be funny to replace the My Little Pony with a Trojan in a kids Happy Meal, they should charge him/her with some sort of perversion crime and lock him/her away for a long time! Okay, I'm sure it wasn't a My Little Pony toy but it helped the joke so go with it.

The article says that police are analyzing the condom to determine if it poses a health risk. Poses a health risk? The only two scenarios where I can see this being the case are A: If the girl is allergic to latex, or B: The condom was used which introduces the chance of person to person disease transmission AND increases the level of GROSS! The article does not, however, include some important details.

It says the little girl discovered the condom, but I don't think that a normal 7-year old knows what that is...so, is she just terribly over educated about sex, or did she discover what she thought was a balloon?

Also, it doesn't say whether or not the condom was used. If it was then maybe they should take a few notes from one of the 200 CSI shows on TV and analyze the secret sauce.

No matter how this story unfurls, someone needs to be held accountable, unless McDonalds decides to adopt this idea and turn it into a meal. They can call it the new McRibbed...for your stomachs pleasure


  1. I always thought they should make adult happy meals. I would be happy to get condoms and/or an STD test with my double quarter pounder with cheese. I mean who wouldn't?

  2. Hah...my happy meal would come with a glass of aged whiskey.


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