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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

For The Love Of Mommy ...Money

Enter, 61 year-old Penelope Sharon Jordan of Florida.

In response to an odd disturbance call, local police arrived at Jordan's home to find a bunch of cats hanging around one of the bedroom windows. Upon entering the house, they found the decaying body of Jordan's mother. Crazy? Just keep reading.

In what sounds like something from an Alfred Hitchcock movie, Jordan told the police that her mother had died in 2003. 2003! That means that she's been keeping her mother's rotting corpse in a bed in her house for 6 years. Can we say Psycho?

Now is that love or what? Well, not exactly. Though the loss of a loved one can be very difficult to handle, for some, the loss of the loved one's income can be more difficult. It seems that Jordan had been keeping her Mummy's...That’s, mommy's death a secret in order to continue to collect her Social Security and military survivor's benefits to the tune of $200,000. That sounds rational to me...200 grand is a lot of money.

Needless to say, she is being indicted, but the weird thing about the article is it doesn't say anything about the stench that this lady's corpse must have been letting off; which I can only imagine smelled something like fresh cut roses in the Spring-time...that were placed next to a SIX-YEAR-OLD CORPSE! Yuck.

How is it that there is no mention of the stench other than the allusion that this sweet smell is what drew the cats to the house in the first place. I mean, did the cops on the case have a cold? Because I'm pretty sure that decaying flesh could probably clear up you sinuses. If only she had taken a cue from Norman Bates and hid her mother in the fruit cellar. That might have kept the cats away and the checks a'coming.

Personally, I'd be waay to scared to keep a dead body in my house. Not out of fear of being caught. But because I watch waay too many Horror movies and would be nervously awaiting a zombie apocalypse.



  1. Don't lie.. we all know you WANT a zombie apocalypse.

  2. hahah...you know me too well. I have all my survival gear ready to go.


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