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Friday, May 8, 2009

He Used To Love Her, But He Had To Kill Her

In what has always seemed to me like the biggest open and shut murder case since Detective Nordberg killed that cocktail waitress for sleeping around with that out-of-work model, police have finally charged Drew Peterson with the murder of his 3rd wife Kathleen Savio.

At first, the police thought the drowning death of Savio was an accident. Not to say that the officers on the case were negligent, but I suspect the crime scene conversation went something like this:

41 year old female. Found drowned in her bathtub. We found Saran Wrap over her mouth and nose, a boot print on her chest, and an electric cord - one end leading to a toaster in the water, the other into an outlet. Obviously accidental. No foul play.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that obvious, but it took the disappearance of Peterson's 4th wife (Stacy) before the cops revisited Savio's drowning as a possible homicide.

The most amazing thing about the entire case is how shamelessly cocky Peterson has been throughout these investigations. He has turned himself into somewhat of a celebrity. Appearing on talk shows, being followed by paparazzi, dating hot young chicks with daddy-complexes and a penchant for being masticated.

Recently, Peterson was even going to start working for the Cathouse brothel in Vegas which is the dream gig for an old man who likes to sleep with and then kill young girls. For one, its probably waay easier to just dig a hole in the desert than it was for him to stage a drowning. Besides, what happens in Vegas, blah-blah-blah.

The problem is, that the cops still don't really have any evidence connecting Peterson to the murder, and his lawyer will probably use the Chewbacca defense so he'll walk.

"Ladies and gentleman of this supposed blog, the cops would like you to believe that Drew killed those stinky bitches years ago, and they make a good case. I almost felt pity myself... (Think about this though)Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. That does not make senses... None of this makes sense...If Chewbacca live on Endor, you must acquit"

Hey everybody..."look at the monkey." Man, I hope this guy fries...even if by some odd chance he didn't do it, he's a remorseless scumbag.

(Quote and picture modified from: South Park, 1998)

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