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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Thursday, April 9, 2009


In the movies, they always make being a pirate look sweet! Sailing from coast to coast, drinking liquor from the bottle, shooting cannons, finding treasure, pillaging, going to bars that specialize in loose women; but the thing is, all of those pirate movies take place hundreds of years ago. Its 2009. We have nuclear weapons, drone planes, submarines, and about a thousand other technologies that most civilians don't even know about. Yet countries across the globe are in battles on the high seas against...you guessed it, pirates?!? And not the cool kind either...you know the one's with a one-legged captain that talks to a parrot and and make diseases just sound like cool words (Scuuurvvy). No cool one-leeged captains on these ships, though most of them are down to their last tooth. These guys aren't real pirates! They're just a bunch of bottomfeeding sea terrorists with A.K.'s. If One-eyed Willie could see this he'd be pissed!
So how is it that these little pricks are getting the drop on cargo ships all over the Atlantic and instead of going after them and blowing them to kingdom come, everyone is negotiating with them? Johnny Depp wouldn't negotiate them...shit Peter Pan would even kick their sorry asses into the mouth of a crocodile before pandering to their ridiculousness.
Finally, we sent a warship out there to handle these sea cochroaches. Hopefully they catch these pirates, throw a bunch of chum in the water, and once the sharks come, make those little bastards walk the plank. I doubt they'd be missed.


  1. It was all a test. Just the gassing up a rocket for 10 days by the Norks. (read:North Koreans) What was his response to that.. nothing.. whats his response to this? 1 Naval ship. My reaction? Send 10 Naval ships and have them aim every last gun, rocket, cannon, what have you at the "pirate ship". Make it look like an old bugs bunny cartoon when he pretends to be Rambo...

  2. They should like send a group of Ninjas after the pirates. I would love to see that battle. I heart Ninjas.

  3. sweet...sounds like the plot to a movie I'd watch on a loop

  4. 4 more ships hijacked today! Can we please just wipe them off the planet already?


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