Since there are no real issues for our Supreme Court to handle they decided to spend some time on Tuesday (4/21) debating about exactly what middle school students might hide in their underwear during school, AND what actions school officials should take when they suspect that a student might be "crotching".
This debate is in response to a case from 2003 where a 13 year old female eighth-grader from Arizona, was suspected of hiding Ibuprofen in her underwear because another student gave school officials a tip. From this tip, they decided to strip search her, making her "shake her bra and pull aside her panties."...What?! "Umm, excuse me Vice Principal Pervert...I think Savana's crotch has a headache because I saw her give it an aspirin." "Well, thanks little Jimmy, I better go have a closer look."
Shouldn't the debate be about how to charge the school officials for being gross? If they suspected this girl of having Motrin in her draws, they should have called in the cops and her parents. How far did they take it? Did they dim the lights and break out some wrinkled up dollar bills? Well, ok...probably not, but still, isn't that a bit distrubing? Besides, it was Ibuprofen they were looking for, not crack...or maybe it was crack they were looking for....eeeew!
During the debate, Justice Stephen Breyer stated that when he was in school "In my experience when I was 8 or 10 or 12 years old, you know, we did take our clothes off once a day...And in my experience, too, people did sometimes stick things in my underwear.” What?! I wanna know where that school is!
Where is the logic here? I understand locker and backpack searches, or making a kid empty his/her pockets because there is rarely a chance of school officials exposing a 13 year old kid's private parts while searching those, unless the kid is a protégé of Jame Gumb or something; but seriously, strip searches? How about cavity searches? I mean, maybe these kids are muling drugs back and forth to Columbia during lunch for the cafeteria ladies. You can never be too careful.
Kids are little sneaky bastards, but we should draw a line between the authorities of the school and the need for police assistance. That line should probably be the panty line...just a thought.