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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Friday, April 24, 2009

AM I Calling At a Bad Time?

Man, I hate cell phones! I hate cell phones. I hate those stupid fucking, flashing, wanna-be secret service earpieces. I hate that people think that their incoming call is the most important occurrence at any given moment. What is it about a cell phone that makes the user of it turn into a mindless, thoughtless drone when it rings (usually very loudly playing some shitty song)?

I just read an article from the Associated Press about a pregnant chick in North Carolina who was in the middle of robbing a bank- yes, you read that right... pregnant bank robber- when all of a sudden, her phone rang. You can guess the next part, but I'll tell you any way. As intelligent as this socially/morally responsible expecting mother seems to be, the moron got distracted and picked up her phone and started talking to her friend MID ROBBERY. And she forgot to take the money she was trying to steal. I would have LOVED to hear that conversation: Hello? No.. I can talk...nothin', just over at the bank opening a trust fund for my baby... Fucking idiot!

Forget the robbery and how much I hate cell phones for a minute to focus on the important part of the story. This disgraceful waste of space is PREGNANT. That's right. This robbery-botching, cell phone addict is bringing a child into this world. One that, no doubt, she will raise to be a fine upstanding citizen such as herself. I just hope that the North Carolina tax payers appreciate this gift that they will all be receiving and paying for pretty soon.

Hopefully the cops catch up with the mom-of-the-year before reality TV writers have a chance to pitch their new show idea, Robbermom - a show about a loving mother who almost risked it all for her in utero child...until the phone rang, to network executives. Maybe they could air it in conjunction with a show about that crazy broad with the eight kids...


  1. I object to the shitty song comment. I am particularly proud of my Super Mario Brothers ringtone.

  2. I have the codec ringtone from MGS and am very proud of that.


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