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Thursday, July 9, 2009

The World Is Filled With Pimps & Hoes

Here's a story I read that cum came came out of Amsterdam's Red Light District. Apparently, banks don't want to do business with creatures of the night. Though prostitution is legal, it is extremely hard difficult for working girls and their pimps supervisors to open bank accounts and get loins loans.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why they have so much trouble. I mean, its not like prostitution in Amsterdam is an all cash- drive behind a dumpster in the alley, one hand on the prize, the other adjusting the rearview mirror looking for cops -type industry. According to a city council member (hah, member), who is trying to work with banks to get them to accept hooker business, prostitution is a “bona fide industry” (hah, bona).

Bank CEO's are basically pimps anyway. Why shouldn’t Vagina Vendors be able to take their cash (minus 60% to the house of course) from inside their thigh-high black leather boots and, with dignity, open their legs an account? I’m sure that most of the bank employees are tricks anyway.

Besides, I would think that hookers, of all people, would be really good at keeping their accounts accruing. After all, in some sense, during their 6-9’s 9 to 5's, they operate like banks do.

1. They make constant cash transactions
2. They open and close their vaults all day/night for clients to make deposits and withdrawals.
3. When clients come in to make a transaction, they can get an all-day sucker.
4. They look like they are offering a good rate of interest, but really just want your money.
5. They look clean, but their deposit boxes are filled with other people’s dirty secrets.
6. They might give you the HI-Five…okay, a real bank probably won’t, but a hooker might.

I for one am all for prostitutes gaining the right to open bank accounts like everyone else. After all, in most careers paths, you’re either the pimp or the ho. You just call it by a different name….oh, but you probably don’t get semen all over you while doing it.


  1. 50 Euroes for 15 minutes, no matter what they look like. Each window has 3 red lights, if there is one blue one, the chick is packing a little something extra(ew)

    Skinny alley, a really narrow alley, and the girls are really skinny. Wide alley, street widens, as do the girls..

    All 50 euros for 15 minutes...
    unfortunately there is no discount if you go under 15 minutes...
    Don't ask how I know that...

  2. Although the world of finance at least in the US is all about screwing people. Always has been...and now, you don't even get a hello kiss so maybe these ladies are better off tucking it into the mattress.

  3. @Mxy- hahah...I know you would NEVER enter the red light! A discounted rate for under 15 seems reasonable to me.

    @Jenny- Just as long as their daughters don't accidentally throw the mattress out!

  4. @Slob- Apparently, for 50 Euroes, they'll love you back


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