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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'll Have the Prime Rib...Rare

Ok, so this is by far the grossest story I've come across since I started blogging. My sister-in-law sent me an article (with video) that is pretty stomach turning AND the following blog isn't any less tasteless. You've been warned.

While visiting NYC from Germany, Axel Sanz-Claus, visited the Bull and Bear Steak House at the Waldorf for dinner. He got the steak (medium-rare) with a side of spinach. Everything was perfect until Jolly Old Sanz-Claus , mid meal, found a blood soaked TAMPON in his steak. That's right, a tampon. So...either he's lying and is looking for a payday; this steak was cut from a PMSing mad cow; or some disgusting pig in the restaurant's wait staff put a dirty period plug in this guys food. So, obviously the steak wasn't to his liking, but I wonder how the spinach was.

I can only imagine how the conversation with his waiter went:

Claus: "Excuse me? I know I asked for my steak rare, but..."

Waiter: "I know sir, I'm sorry. The chef overcooked it, so I took the liberty..."

Claus: "Well, I hope you're not expecting a tip."

Okay. So, maybe it didn't go down exactly like that. The worst part of this whole ordeal is, Claus had to go ot the hospital and be tested for Hepatitis AND had to schedule himself for a 6 month HI-Five test (yes, I know I used that clip before). Talk about scary! I get skeeved out when there is hair in my food.

I suppose the Bull and Bear will be getting a bad Zagat rating next time around.

The management at the Waldorf is said to be investigating the incident which I guess means rounding up the female employees and hoping they haven't been working together long enough to have synched up?

What I want them to learn from this investigation is the motive for the crime. Was it a malicious act of a fed up employee? A hoax perpetrated by a dirty old man with a taste for blood? Or merely an artful recreation of human biological function? We may never know.

Seemingly, all this poor guy wanted to do was take a nice vacation, catch a show or two, and do some shopping in the City that never sleeps. But all he has to show for it is a container holding a dirty a rag that looks like ABC gum. Yeah, that's right, Claus is holding onto the evidence. Perhaps he is looking for a big payday after all proving that old proverb, 'A tampon in a can is worth two from the bush.' Or something like that.

Nah, the real lesson is probably more like don't piss off the wait staff... Is it just me or is all this talk about food is making you hungry too...



  1. Read this right before i'm about to lunch... YES!

  2. @Mr. O. Sorry. I actually wrote this on my lunch break

  3. I thought I lost something....

    what, not funny? That is seriously nasty though.

  4. @Valerie-hahahha....eeew! You made me spit soda out of my nose

  5. I ...... wow. People wonder why I lose my faith in humanity! Did whoever did that think they'd get away with it? Furthermore .... WHY??? Auuuuhggghghh!!!!

  6. W.T.F!?!?! I would write more but must go vomit.

  7. OMG! WTF! I don't even know what to say about that! Grrrrooooossss!

  8. @Sami, @Jenny, and @Lila...I hear you. I couldn't believe what I was watching when I got the video...

  9. All right, I have to admit that the Waldorf showed wit in the presence of danger by saying that they were ‘conducting an internal investigation’.

  10. @Simon- Hahaha...yes, I noticed that too. Good pick up Simon

  11. Yet another excellent reason to go vegetarian. Just sayin'.

  12. @Teacup- I'll have to still take my chances with steak...I'll just avoid the Waldorf :)

  13. good thing he didnt order the rare roastbeef! Hmm. Burnt to a crisp or bloody as hell? I'll take bloody thanks...

  14. @Blog Slob- yea, lol. That's the effect I was going for with the picture

  15. first i was like, mmmmm steak! and then i was like, no! no! NO! that is the worst thing ever! bleck!


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