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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Caped Controversy 6/30

In Caped Controversy blog posts I will pit participants from controversial or media hyped events against each other and declare a winner.

Venue: THE THRILLER in MANILLA NEVERLAND

One-Handed Knife Fight, Beat It style.

Participants: Occupants on a bus in Miami who just learned of Jackson’s death.Rivals from two opposing gangs (aka The MJ Warriors vs. The Anti-Jackites) will be matched up and have one hand tied to their opponent. The rules? There are no rules. Switchblades will be swung. Blood will be shed. And Jheri-curl juice will be drippin’…We might even see a Wesley Snipes cameo.

Hype: The brawl erupted after an occupant on the bus (James Kiernan) received a text regarding MJ’s death and read it aloud to the other occupants. The bus driver, and head of the Anti-Jackites, accused MJ of being a not-so- smooth criminal who should have been in jail for being a pediatrician pedophile. An argument ensued, a knife really was drawn, and these illegitimate children of Billie Jean were all out to prove who was truly Bad…and none of them would stop ‘til they got enough. It didn’t say in the article whether the perpetrators were Black or White, but that doesn’t matter! (more ridiculous song references to follow).

The Match: After the bus driver and Kiernan exchanged words, one of the Anti-Jackite henchmen (Henry Wideman) drew a knife and began chasing Kiernan in an attempt to rock his world. Lounging back and forth at each other doing what appeared to be more like synchronized dance moves then a fight sequence, the MJ Warriors were adamant on letting the Anti-Jackites know exactly how they made them feel.

The Result: The brawl ended in the arrest of Henry Wideman who tried to explain his outburst by blaming it on the boogie, rather than owning up to his rage and looking at the man in the mirror.

There is no winner in this ridiculous battle. It’s okay to be passionate about things, but to get into a brawl with people over a difference in opinion (especially one with no real consequence to anyone’s life) is primitive and idiotic. There are much bigger and more important battles to be waged.

With the death of Michael Jackson we lost one of the most influential singers/dancers in history. His personal life was full of personal demons. Was he a pedophile? Maybe, but I know that if I were a parent of a child who claimed to be molested, no sum of money would be large enough to replace justice, so? I also know that if I judged actors/singers by their personal lives rather than their art, I’d have nothing to watch or listen to. Either way, everyone involved in this dispute on the bus is a loser. I think we all need to spend a little less time fighting each other, and a little more time trying to heal the world.

Man…how many song references was that?

5 comments:

  1. That story was insane! I love how you recap these!

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  2. Yea, crazy stuff! I'm glad you enjoy them. They are fun to write :)

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  3. Oh, Caped, don't stop til you get enough of this awesomeness:

    An argument ensued, a knife really was drawn, and these illegitimate children of Billie Jean were all out to prove who was truly Bad…and none of them would stop ‘til they got enough. It didn’t say in the article whether the perpetrators were Black or White, but that doesn’t matter!

    Too bloody funny.

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  4. hahah- hey Teacup Girl, Thanx! If you haven't already, check out the links too :) they are fun

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  5. Some of the links were down, but I fixed them

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