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Am I a superhero? Or just a lunatic that wears a cape...and rants?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Hey! You Got Some Face on Your Tattoo...

I have to admit that this story made me smile due to the stupidity of its participants.

An 18-year-old girl, Kimberley Vlaminck, was taken by her father to get a tattoo on her face as a gift from him to her. Vlaminck said she asked the tattoo artist (Rouslan Toumaniantz) for 3 stars near her left eye, but by the end of the session her face looked like an American flag representing 56 of the 57 states that Obama said he traveled to during his presidential campaign. Apparently she fell asleep when the artist started, but woke up before he could get to the 57th. During this whole time her father, being the responsible parent he is, went out to get an ice cream.

Ok...first of all, there is no way this chick fell asleep while her face was being inked.

Second of all, what kind of terrible father takes their utterly dense 18-year-old girl to a tattoo parlor to get a tattoo on her face? Is he trying to guarantee that her only career options are either sliding upside down, down a pole in a smoky bar to a Motley Crue song or as a backdrop of a clear night sky in an off-Broadway play?

So now, of course, the dad is suing the tattoo parlor for money to get the stars surgically removed, but the artist is refusing to pay claiming that the girl asked to be covered in stars and only complained after her father saw what had happened. I can only imagine that the shock of seeing his Outerspace-faced freak of a daughter caused him to drop his cone to the ground which, in my starry eyes, is the real tragedy of the story.

In light of the fact that I don't believe for one second that the girl didn't know what was going on in that parlor AND the fact that her father took her there with the intention of allowing her to get a face tattoo, I have decided to call shenanigans on the lawsuit. The dad is a lousy one and the daughter is an irresponsible but legal adult who, if she can't stay awake while someone rips a needle across her face, should probably start drinking more coffee or stop taking Ambien.

Therefore, I am going to plug Mr. Toumaniantz's parlor right now: The Tattoo Box


  1. Her father and her are two big bags of douche. Final answer.

  2. Not feeling a tattoo being done ALL OVER half of your face? Definitely bullshit. If they win that lawsuit I'm sure I will shit a brick. There's no way!

  3. @ lovelila

    some lady sued mcdonalds for millions because she ordered a HOT coffee, and put that HOT coffee between her legs, and she closed her legs and burned herself on the HOT coffee because she didn't know it was HOT

    if they DON'T win this lawsuit over bullshit semantics, i'll shit a brick

  4. The stars form a 3 on her face. Because that matters.

    I say bullshit, too.

  5. That's it! She probably said she wanted stars on her face making a 3...not three stars! good one

  6. I second the big dipper comment! ROTFL.
    And yeah, no way in hell she fell asleep during THAT!

  7. definitely! thanx for coming by :) I'm swinging by yours now

  8. BTW Shaylen....I'm not smart enough to figure out how to comment on your page...


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